Halloween Quotes Funny

70 Funny Halloween Quotes: Laugh Your Broom Off

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Prepare yourselves for some spine-tingling, eerie fun! Sometimes the best part of Halloween is not the fright; it’s the laughing. You’ll be howling like a werewolf and cackling like a witch after reading this selection of funny Halloween quotations. These quotations, which range from corny proverbs to sharp one-liners, wonderfully convey the goofy and joyful aspects of this eerie occasion.

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Halloween Quotes Funny

  1. “If you’ve got it, haunt it.” – Rose Pressey

  2. “Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.” – William Shakespeare

  3. “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.” – David Letterman

  4. “Where there is no imagination, there is no horror.” – Arthur Conan Doyle

  5. “Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.” – Mason Cooley

  6. “A mask tells us more than a face.” – Oscar Wilde

  7. “When witches go riding, and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers, ’tis near Halloween.'” – Unknown

  8. “On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.” – Rodney Dangerfield

  9. “I put a spell on you because you’re mine.” – Jay Hawkins

  10. “There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight.” – Unknown
    halloween quotes funny

  11. “Every day is Halloween isn’t it? For some of us…” – Tim Burton

  12. “Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.” – Steve Almond

  13. “I love Halloween, and I love that feeling: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner.” – Evan Peters

  14. “Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take candy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for it.'” – Rita Rudner

  15. “If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost.” – Lloyd Douglas

  16. “There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch.” – Robert Brault

  17. “When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween.” – Unknown

  18. “On Halloween, witches come true; wild ghosts escape from dreams. Each monster dances in the park.” – Nicholas Gordon

  19. “The farther we’ve gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we’ve come to need Halloween. ” – Paula Guran

  20. “Eat, drink, and be scary!” – Unknown

  21. “It’s Halloween; everyone’s entitled to one good scare.” – Brackett, Halloween

  22. “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” – L.M. Montgomery

  23. “Halloween wraps fear in innocence, as though it were a slightly sour sweet. Let terror, then, be turned into a treat…” – Nicholas Gordon

  24. “Believe in the magic of the season.” – Unknown
  25. “Trick or treat, bag of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street.” – Unknown

  26. “If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.” – Douglas Coupland

  27. “I see my face in the mirror and go, ‘I’m a Halloween costume? That’s what they think of me?'” – Rodney Dangerfield

  28. “By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.” – William Shakespeare

  29. “Hell is empty and all the devils are here.” – William Shakespeare

  30. “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.” – Wednesday Addams
    halloween quotes funny

  31. “This witch can be bribed with chocolate.” – Unknown

  32. “If you want to scare me, please just tell me the price of gas tomorrow.” – Unknown

  1. “Hope all the candy doesn’t go to WAIST.” – Unknown

  2. “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode for Halloween.” – Unknown

  3. “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself…and spiders.” – Unknown

  4. “Free broom rides!” – Unknown

  5. “Some people are born for Halloween, and some are just counting the days until Christmas.” – Stephen Graham Jones

  6. “It’s as much fun to scare as to be scared.” – Vincent Price

  7. “Witch parking only. All others will be toad.” – Unknown

  8. “Hey boo-tiful!” – Unknown

  9. “This house is under elf surveillance.” – Unknown

  10. “A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.” – Erma Bombeck

  11. “Being normal is vastly overrated.” – Aggie Cromwell, Halloweentown

  12. “Where’s my mummy?” – Unknown

  13. “I wave my wand and put on my cape, which means there’s about to be all kinds of awesome up in here.” – Unknown

  14. “Hocus Pocus, I need coffee to focus.” – Unknown

  15. “Creep it real.” – Unknown

  16. “When the little monsters come knocking on your door, turn out the lights and pretend you’re not home!” – Unknown

  17. “I don’t celebrate Halloween, I am Halloween.” – Unknown

  18. “If you’ve got it, haunt it.” – Rose Pressey (Repeated for emphasis – it’s that good!)

  1. “Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.” – J.K. Rowling

  2. “Magic is really very simple, all you’ve got to do is want something and then let yourself have it.” – Aggie Cromwell, Halloweentown

  3. “It’s Halloween; I guess everyone’s entitled to one good scare, huh?” – Sheriff Leigh Brackett, ‘Halloween’

  4. “There are three things I’ve learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.” – Linus Van Pelt, ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown’

  5. “Just because I cannot see it, doesn’t mean I can’t believe it!” – Jack Skellington, ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’

  6. “I’m a ghost with the most, babe.” – Beetlejuice

  7. “This witch likes wine.” – Unknown

  8. “I’m a mouse, duh.” – Mean Girls

  9. “Basic witch.” – Unknown

  10. “Eat, drink and be spooky.” – Unknown

  11. “If the broom fits, ride it!” – Unknown

  12. “I’m only here for the boos.” – Unknown

  13. “If you think I’m a witch, you should meet my sister!” – Unknown

  14. “There’s a skeleton in my closet, and his name is Carl.” – Unknown

  15. “Broom parking – 5 cents” – Unknown

  16. “Don’t make me drop a house on you.” – Wicked Witch of the West, ‘The Wizard of Oz’

  17. “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” – Glinda the Good Witch, ‘The Wizard of Oz’

  18. “When life gives you lemons, trade them for candy.” – Unknown

  19. “If you’ve got it, haunt it.” – Rose Pressey (Great quote, worth using twice!)

  20. “Witchful thinking” – Unknown

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Nadeem Ahmed
Nadeem Ahmed

Founder & Writer at QuoteGravity.com

I'm Nadeem Ahmed, the founder and writer of QuoteGravity.com, a platform designed to inspire and motivate people through the power of words.

With a background in project management, GIS analysis, and digital marketing, I'm passionate about crafting compelling content that resonates with readers.

Through QuoteGravity.com, I hope to share inspirational quotes and stories that help people find their inner strength and achieve their goals.

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