35 Iconic Christmas Vacation Quotes You’ll Love

This collection of funniest “Christmas Vacation” quotes is perfect for those who share a similar family dynamic during the holidays. These lines are guaranteed to bring back hilarious memories and add holiday cheer, regardless of the chaotic nature of your Christmas celebration.

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Christmas Vacation Quotes

1. “Ellen, have you been watering the lights?” – Clark Griswold (captures Clark’s meticulousness and holiday spirit)

2. “Attendance is mandatory.” – Clark Griswold (a classic line about the Griswold family Christmas)

3. “Looks like the Griswolds got a flat tire.” – Rusty (a relatable line about holiday mishaps)

4. “Isn’t it a little early for the Griswold National Lampoon?” – Aunt Bethany (highlights the family’s over-the-top decorations)

5. “Eggnog?…Is that what’s in there?” – Aunt Bethany (a funny line about Aunt Bethany’s confusion)

6. “Clark, where’s the remote?” – Ellen Griswold (a relatable line about the struggle to find the remote)

7. “The absolute worst!” – Clark Griswold (perfectly captures Clark’s frustration)

8. “Sparky went after the tire.” – Snotty (a memorable line about the family’s dog)

9. “Let’s get this party started!” – Clark Griswold (a line that embodies Clark’s enthusiasm)

10. “Jelly of the month club?” – Clark Griswold (a hilarious yet frustrating gift)
    
    

11. “Isn’t that a little festive, Aunt Bethany?” – Ellen Griswold (about Aunt Bethany’s unique fashion choices)

12. “Maybe a squirrel chewed on a wire.” – Russ (a line about the family’s electrical problems)

13. “Eat the peas!” – Clark Griswold (a stressed-out Clark trying to control the Christmas dinner)

14. “ператор вашей канализации!” (Russian for “ператор of your канализации!” – Cousin Eddie’s nonsensical greeting)

15. “Those aren’t Christmas lights, Clark. That’s an electrical hazard.” – Randy (a line highlighting Clark’s overzealous decorations)

16. “This is the house. Lemme out!” – Clark Griswold (Clark’s frustration reaches a peak)

17. “Isn’t there anyone here who knows how to use a chainsaw?!” – Clark Griswold (a relatable line about DIY struggles)

18. “Where’s the Tylenol?” – Ellen Griswold (a nod to the holiday stress)

19. “Hallelujah! No wonder the fuse blew!” – Clark Griswold (a funny discovery about the electrical issue)

20. “Looks like the Griswolds got picked for a Chinese fire drill.” – Rusty (Rusty’s witty observation about the Griswold house fire)
    
    

21. “Maybe Santa was a little light on the milk and cookies this year.” – Clark Griswold (a humorous line about the lack of Christmas spirit)

22. “Isn’t it ironic that the Griswold’s lights are the only ones on the street?” – Ellen Griswold (a touch of sarcasm after the Christmas lights fiasco)

23. “This is a test. Is anybody there? Can anybody hear me? I’m stuck in Christmas Vacation!” – Clark Griswold (a memorable line after Clark gets stuck in the attic)

24. “Vern, isn’t that your house?” – Cousin Eddie (Eddie’s cluelessness adds to the humor)

25. “If I woke up tomorrow morning with my head sewn to the ass of a dead donkey, this would just be my luck.” – Clark Griswold (a line expressing Clark’s utter frustration)

26. “Essentials? We got a lotta essentials.” – Eddie (referring to their questionable “essentials” packed for the trip)

27. “Isn’t that special?” – Ellen Griswold (said with sarcasm in various situations)

28. “Those are Italian Christmas lights, Russ. Very high quality.” – Clark Griswold (Clark’s justification for his excessive light display)

29. “Clark, why is the house glowing?” – Ellen Griswold (expressing concern about Clark’s decorations)

30. “Looks like it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.” – Clark Griswold (foreshadowing the holiday chaos)

31. “What a wonderful way to spend Christmas Eve.” – Clark Griswold (said sarcastically after multiple mishaps)

32. “Isn’t that just great? Now I gotta wrestle a freakin’ raccoon.” – Clark Griswold (another instance of Clark’s holiday struggles)

33. “Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. – Cousin Eddie (Eddie’s signature line, though not suitable for all audiences)

34. “No eye for fashion, Clark?” – Ellen Griswold (teasing Clark about his questionable taste)

35. “Looks like Santa’s bringing you a pool this year, Clark.” – Russ (referring to the Griswold’s